Pressure – The Enemy of Any Relationship

Pressure – The Enemy of Any Relationship

01 Dec 00:00 by Jesus Garcia


Recruiters talk to a lot of people every day. They try their best to match the right candidates with the right clients, but this journey is rarely smooth. The ideal candidate might have decided to go with another job, or the perfect role might have been put on hold for a month over the summer. Recruiters deal with these obstacles as best they can, attempting to satisfy the needs of as many people as possible. However, there is one nagging thought in the back of their minds that can sometimes get in the way of these relationships:

“Hey you, yes, you…. You need to get paid this month.”

If a recruiter hasn’t placed a candidate for a while, the inevitable pressure starts to build. No placement equals no commission, and not enough placements in a quarter equates to a potential lost job. The nagging pressure of the empty space next to their name on the  placements board as their colleagues stack up the cash in undeniable. The thought never leaves their heads…. They need to place someone, and they need to do it soon.

But all this time they are talking to people….

When the pressure gets to a certain level, it is virtually impossible to separate it from their daily dealings. The senior candidate that they would usually happily have a chat with (even though they don’t have a role for them) gets ignored. The client wanting to see “just one more” person for the shortlist is greeted with derision rather than understanding. The simplest of requests is greeted by the straightest of straight bats: “Sorry, I’m busy.”

It is often the case that these recruiters are doing nothing wrong. A few things don’t go their way, and they start to question their very existence.  That is what pressure does to you – it makes you question what you previously held to be true. However, there is a solution to help any recruiter (or anyone else, who is under the cosh), retain a sense of perspective:

Go home and watch a film. Play a game of squash with a mate.

When work is an inescapable pressure cooker, you have to learn to give your brain a break. When your brain rests, it gets a chance to make some sense out of things. Going for a run or working out are one of the best things that you can do after missing out on the biggest placement of the year. The next morning you will have “parked” your emotional feelings, and you will be able to move on with your relationships intact.

If, however, you are the type to stew over issues, you can be sure that you will not be present for the people around you, and you certainly won’t be delivering value for them. They can’t see inside your head that you are in turmoil – they will simply think that you don’t care about them.

Pressure is indeed the enemy of any relationship – precisely because other people don’t understand what is going on. You can’t tell every person “it’s not you, it’s me.”  Be present for others, no matter what is going on in your head, and don’t expect them to understand what is in there in any case!